A recent study in Frontiers in Public Health surveyed over 6,000 caregivers about their children’s behavioral changes during quarantine. Those with children under age 6 reported increased irritability (34.7%); sleep disorders, including problems falling asleep and night awakenings (19% each); and stress symptoms, including restlessness (18.6%) and separation anxiety (16.4%). If you’re a fully vaccinated parent, ready for a summer of Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, the Places You’ll Go,” here are some strategies you can start building at home to make being waited on an experience really worth the wait.
Why Is Waiting So Hard for Kids?
“The ability to wait patiently is one of those real-world skills that carry over into so many situations like eating in a restaurant, and even builds kindergarten readiness,” says pediatrician Shelly Flais, MD, an official spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics and editor-in-chief of “Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5-12.” She adds, “Developmentally, difficulties with waiting come down to any young child’s natural scientific curiosity—they love to test their limits in new environments.” As with all human behavior, it’s all about context. A study in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology found young children were more patient when a researcher (not their parent) was present. They were more willing to wait if a reward they wanted was offered.
5 Strategies for Building Restaurant Readiness
Eat Family Meals at a Table
“This can be especially hard with little ones because they naturally want to wander," says Nancy Murphy, MEd, NBCT, a collaborative preschool teacher and early childhood development expert from Santa Monica, California. Yet, after 15 years in early childhood education, Murphy says family meals are her number one strategy for building table-time tolerance. “It might be hard, but not allowing kids to get up out of their seats during the meal will prepare them for a restaurant environment,” Murphy says. Anne Fishel, PhD, notes that researchers found that “[young] kids learned 1,000 rare words at the dinner table, compared to only 143 from parents reading storybooks aloud.” When combined, dinner conversation and being read aloud to gives kids a larger vocabulary that helps them learn to read earlier and easier.
Play Pretend-Restaurant
Playing is how kids learn, as it allows them to experiment with different social roles and build more complex negotiation, communication, and language skills. “Making a conscious effort to put your phone away, turn the TV off, and play with your child one-on-one is one of the best things you can do,” Flais says. It can also be helpful to role-play as your child’s favorite characters. Research suggests this strategy helps kids think more flexibly and persevere longer.
Practice Taking Turns
In order to fully learn the skill of sharing and taking turns, children need the opportunity to apply it. And they may not have had much opportunity during the pandemic. “Some children may need extra practice with things they may have missed out on by not being in a preschool environment, like personal space and waiting empathetically for their turn,” Murphy explains. “When parents are the ‘waiter,’ they can leave the room to gradually increase the time before returning with pretend menus, drinks, appetizers, and so on.”
Have Set Mealtimes
Predictable home schedules and routines can mitigate some of that pandemic-related behavior regression. So, if the slower pace of the past year has changed your family’s normally overscheduled evenings and dinnertimes, Flais suggests an early dinner around 4:30 or 5 p.m. to leave time for some before-bed playground time or an evening bike ride. Those family meals also have nutritional benefits as children grow into adulthood. Research in the journal Public Health Nutrition found that young adults who had eaten regular family meals as teens were more likely to eat shared meals once they lived on their own, and were more likely to make healthy food choices.
Start Small
“A three-year-old having a tantrum in a restaurant is age-appropriate,” Flais says. “I always tell parents to look for the cause underneath the behavior.” Being tired, sick, or hungry can naturally affect anyone’s ability to wait patiently—adults included. Instead of bringing your kids out for a five-course dinner, she suggests taking baby steps and keeping expectations low. “Try an ice cream stand or a restaurant with outdoor dining; these are not only safer options for families but also better environments for young children," Flais suggests. The information in this article is current as of the date listed, which means newer information may be available when you read this. For the most recent updates on COVID-19, visit our coronavirus news page.
